P. O. Box 575  • Sealy, Texas •  979-877-4822  •  alan@cowboysportsnews.com

Big Al's View Of The World

COWBOY SPORTS NEWS MAGAZINE APRIL 2018


I was thinking about having a big time rodeo and I wanted to run a few things by you before I put it in print.

I’m going to hire the biggest and best producer in the US. The best award winning announcers and contract people that money can find. I’m going to bring bucking stock from all over the US and Canada so the cowboys have the best chance to show their skills and put on a show for the ticket buying spectators.

I’m thinking about paying the winner of each event $50,000 each, the 2nd place $25,000 and paying pretty good money in the qualifying brackets and rounds. To help the cowboys out I’m going to pay them to go sit and sign autographs for their fans and to help promote the western way of life to the city dudes.

I don’t think the PRCA is worthy of my big time show but I’m going to hire all of their judges and go by most of their rules because they are after all the one everyone models their rules and format after. And just to make sure no “joe blows” get into this deal, I’m going to invite the PRCA’s top cowboys from last year and this year.

I’m going to spend money on things that most rodeos don’t even think about like a daycare for the rodeo kids while their parents compete, hospitality rooms, stalls for horses and hookups for trailers and the best prize line money can buy.

Just to make sure we get plenty of spectators and sponsors I’m going to hire some of the world’s best entertainers to perform after the rodeo and then I think I’ll donate tons of money to education and agriculture. I can’t think of anything I forgot can you???

Oh yeah, I’m going to take the lowest bidder on my calves and steers for the rodeo. These guys are pros, they should be able to compete on anything run into the chute for them. I don’t think we need to prepare the cattle before the rodeo starts. A roping calf is a roping calf, right? A steer just needs two horns and four feet. From what I hear the roping events are on their way out anyway. Maybe by not having the best animals will help speed up the demise of the roping events and we won’t have to worry about spending that money in the future. I’m not going to have roping events at my big finale shoot-out rodeo the last day anyway. It’s Texas, no one ropes down here. Who would ever want to come watch the best ropers in the world.

I’ve had PETA and HSUS picketing outside for years so maybe if I give them calves that are kicking and getting choked down while the cowboys are trying to tie them they will finally have something truthful on their signs on the street. I can’t hardly put spikes in the flank of one of those big Canadian broncs can I or a noose around the scrotum of a $100,000 bucking bull.

I’m thinking about having a no jerk down rule on these calves that aren’t conditioned. I don’t want some smart cowboy figuring out he can just put one on his shoulder a little hard and maybe he won’t kick.

I’m also thinking about saving a good set of calves for the finals or maybe I’ll just have the cowboys condition a set for the finals. This way all of my critics will love me when the cowboys start tying calves in fast 8’s and 7’s. That way they’ll forget all about the earlier rounds when they got kicked and got the whistle.

I just had a brilliant idea. I’ll have the cowboys show up a little early during the day and tie the calves for that nights performance each day. That way I won’t have to pay anyone to “condition” them. I’m already paying out almost a million dollars in prize money. There is no way I can afford a few thousand to prepare the cattle. That won’t work because I’ve got that whole PETA deal working and maybe getting rid of the roping later and to top it all off it really isn’t very good common sense.

I also think I’ll make sure there is one calf in that finals pen that doesn’t fit. The last thing I want is everyone to have a shot at the big money. That luck of the draw deal is a pretty good karma deal for the cowboys don’t you think. I’m pretty sure it is way too hard to have 10 calves in Texas that match. You gotta have a little drama when a guys ropes for the $50K.
What do y’all think about my big rodeo?

Calling it like I see it,

Big Al

 


April 2018 Cowboy Sports News Magazine

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The Cowboy Sports News was started in August of 1990.  From humble beginnings with a 16 page paper thrown together in a week to over 80 pages and an average press run of 15,000 papers on a monthly basis, we have come "a long ways". We are mainly distributed in Texas and the surrounding states, but with this website our readership extends worldwide. We are the only rodeo magazine with a "free" page by page full on-line edition for the entire world to see at the touch of a button.

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