Big Al's View Of The World
COWBOY SPORTS NEWS MAGAZINE JULY 2016
Have you ever noticed that people that drive fancy cars look like they are supposed to drive fancy cars. Have you ever seen a Range Rover roll by with a 30 something hayseed from the country wearing a dirty baseball cap and an Old Navy t-shirt? The answer is no. People like that just don’t drive vehicles like that.
I was coming home the other afternoon and I got behind this fancy Range Rover. All white with fancy silver and black trim. Now when I say I was coming home I don’t mean going down the interstate. I mean driving down a farm road that barely has enough room for two cars to pass. If you meet a big truck you are going to have to get off of the pavement because he knows he can’t get over for you without wiping out. This would be the same road that most Saturdays is filled with bicycle riders from Houston. If you want to ruin a good Saturday morning for me then just put 20 bicycles in between me and Whataburger on a beautiful Saturday morning. My blood pressure will hit the roof instantly. I am not a man of many cuss words but the scene described above will bring some to the top of my throat everytime.
Now back to the story. As I was following this Range Rover it was obvious that the driver did not know how to drive in the country and what was more obvious was the effort they were putting into not getting this car dirty. City drivers in the country are either of two types. They either drive 40 mph looking at the beautiful countryside we call home or they fly thru this beautiful countryside we call home at 80 mph. Either way they get on my last nerve. This driver was the 40 mph type. They would go 65 then 40 then 55 then 30.
If you’ve ever driven on a twisting and turning farm road in the country with hills you know that it was meant to be driven at the posted speed limit. The signs say 60 so I drive it at 70 unless I’m following a pretty white Range Rover. It was hot outside, I was hot inside and the only thing between me and a Gatorade was this person from the city in their fancy car. The whole time I was behind I was visualizing what they would look like when I passed them in the next straightaway. Would they be a balding 40 something with his little Stepford wife with two perfect little yuppy demon kids named Emmy and Hunter. Or would they be an older retired couple with a crisp and clean floppy baseball cap on with glasses while his wife sat there reading a book. You never see the older ladies looking out the window. They are always reading something. Maybe it’s a map trying to figure out how they can get out of they way of this idiot in a Dodge dually barreling down on them on this back woods road.
As I passed this Range Rover in the first possible straightaway I was reminded of the type I had forgotten about. When I got beside this particular car it was being driven by a 40 something fashion model. Have you ever tried to pass a car on a narrow farm road and look over at the person driving while trying not to wreck. It’s hard isn’t it!!!
A few months back I might have mentioned Whataburger in my article. It’s not like we go there every meal, just most meals. I think I might have mentioned that we ate there four times in one day once and we sometimes schedule departure and arrivals around whether or not we can stop at Whataburger for a taquito or bacon biscuit. Well the great people at Whataburger must have me on their radar or they have a GPS tracker on my truck because I got an e-mail the other day from them saying they needed my address. I was thinking maybe they were going to send me a free burger coupon like I got last time. Oh no! I came home one afternoon to find an oversized FedEx box on my back porch. When I opened it it was full of everything Whataburger. A white Donald Trump cap with a big W on the front, t-shirts, sunglasses, a towel, a checkerboard game, a key ring, a big container of spicy ketchup and great big thing you put in your front window to keep the sun out.
To say I’m hard to impress is an understatement but this stuff made my day.
If you haven’t eaten at a Whatburger lately I suggest you get there as fast as you can. If your state doesn’t have Whataburger’s then I suggest you move to Texas as fast as you can. They people are friendly here and there is a Whataburger on every corner, what else could you want in life?
Make mine to go,
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